The difficult but important estate planning conversations to have with your family

An estate plan sets out how you’d like your assets to be managed and distributed during your life and when you pass away. It often involves thinking about difficult topics, such as your funeral preferences or who you’d like to receive heirloom possessions.

Once you’ve created an estate plan, it can be tempting to put it to the back of your mind.

However, both you and your loved ones could benefit from discussing the contents of your estate plan. While these topics can be challenging and emotional to bring up, they could be a valuable way for you and your family to align on your understanding and expectations.

Here are three conversations you might want to have with your loved ones about your estate.

1. How your assets will be distributed when you pass away

Many people decide not to share how their estate will be distributed when they pass away. According to a September 2025 article from FTAdviser, 36% of UK adults don’t know what their parents’ inheritance plans are.

There are several reasons why you might choose to discuss the contents of your will.

One key reason is that it can help your loved ones effectively plan their own long-term finances. Understanding what they’ll inherit could allow them to make informed decisions.

For example, if your child is expecting a substantial inheritance, they might plan to rely on it for retirement rather than contributing to a pension. If the expected inheritance doesn’t materialise, they could face hardship later in life. By being aware of your wishes, they could take steps now to ensure they’re able to retire comfortably.

Another reason to have an open discussion is that it could reduce the chance of your will being contested.

An April 2025 article from Today’s Wills & Probate noted there was a 5% increase in contested wills reaching the courtroom between 2022 and 2023.

Speaking to your loved ones now gives you a chance to explain your wishes, reduce the risk of someone feeling blindsided, and address potential disputes.

2. Your Inheritance Tax position

If your estate may be liable for Inheritance Tax (IHT), it can be valuable to discuss the potential bill and any steps you’ve taken to mitigate it – especially if a family member will act as your executor.

Loved ones may be uncertain about IHT and how it might affect their inheritance. Having a discussion now about your IHT position could put their mind at ease.

Your chosen executor will be responsible for handling your estate, including selling assets, such as property or investments, and reporting the value of your estate to HMRC. They will also be responsible for paying IHT on behalf of the estate. Consequently, gaining a clear understanding of your tax strategy could make the process less stressful and ensure that any steps you’ve taken to reduce the bill aren’t overlooked.

3. Your wishes if you lose mental capacity

Your estate plan isn’t only about how you’ll pass on assets, but how you’d like your affairs to be managed if you’re unable to oversee them later in life.

Thinking about losing mental capacity can be emotional, but talking about your wishes can provide your loved ones with valuable guidance.

As part of your estate plan, you might give someone you trust Power of Attorney (POA), which would give them the power to make decisions on your behalf.

There are two types of POA, covering financial affairs and your health and wellbeing. You might want to talk to loved ones about topics like:

• Your preferences if you need care later in life
• Where your assets are held and how they should be managed
• Under what circumstances you would prefer to receive life-sustaining treatment.

Your financial planner can help you tackle estate planning conversations

You don’t have to tackle these difficult conversations alone. Sometimes, having an impartial third-party present could be useful.

For example, we can be on hand to answer your family’s questions about acting as an attorney, managing an inheritance effectively to reflect their goals, or understanding how assets will be distributed to minimise potential disputes.

While having discussions about your wishes for later in life or when you pass away can be challenging, they can provide clarity for both you and your family. Please get in touch if you’d like to talk to us about your estate plan.

Please note: This blog is for general information only and does not constitute financial advice, which should be based on your individual circumstances. The information is aimed at retail clients only.

Please do not act based on anything you might read in this article. All contents are based on our understanding of HMRC legislation, which is subject to change.

The Financial Conduct Authority doesn’t regulate will writing, Power of Attorney, Inheritance Tax planning or estate planning.